We’re fighting a pandemic — and each of us is a recruit in the war against COVID-19.
By now, you’ve definitely heard about this pandemic, possibly because your local theater shut down, the beach is closed, your classes are now entirely online, and for some reason there is no toilet paper. Let’s be real: It all feels a little like a zombie apocalypse. So we’ve created a guide to help you succeed in this epic battle of humans versus virus.
Join the war against disease with this zombie-inspired college student's guide to germ-fighting.
Your enemy is invisible. It’s not exactly alive, but it’s not dead either: It could be best described as “near the boundary between the living and the nonliving.” Once inside its victim’s body, it leads a borrowed life. And it wants to use you as its next host.
Your enemy’s name — virus — stems from the Latin for “slimy liquid” or “poison.” For years, we’ve fought viruses that make us sick with the common cold or flu. But now a new enemy has emerged: SARS-CoV-2, which causes the disease COVID-19.
“You can’t scare a virus. You can’t negotiate with a virus. You can’t make a separate peace with a virus. A virus has a biological imperative, which is to infect and spread,” says Max Brooks, the author of the The Zombie Survival Guide.
But we can stop it.
Your first step: Learn everything you can about your enemy.
You wouldn’t fight a zombie without proper gear, would you? A viral invasion is no different. Choose your weapons:
This is your basic virus-destruction kit. It may not seem like a glamorous weapon, but that’s only because you can’t see how efficiently it destroys your viral enemy.
“The new coronavirus, coined SARS-CoV-2, is a spherical structure with spiky proteins attached to a membrane, or envelope, that protects the pathogen’s genetic material,” explains this Wall Street Journal article. “Once it comes into contact with soap, this envelope dissolves, leaving behind a dysfunctional virus.”
Think of it like this: When fighting the undead, you’d like to be working with a handgun. But sometimes you’re caught off-guard and need to reach for the nearest weapon, like a rusty nail to jam through the zombie’s eye socket.
Hand sanitizer is that rusty nail. Soap and water should be your go-to weapon. But you should also have a backup supply of hand sanitizer, just in case you don’t have access to your top choice of defense.
Pro tip: When buying hand sanitizer, make sure it has at least 60 percent alcohol.
Disinfectant pickings are slim, but you’re a seasoned germ-fighter now, so you can improvise. Here’s what the CDC recommends:
You’re armed and ready. But do you know how to use your store of germ-fighting weapons? Time to train.
When washing your hands, follow the classic zombie-fighting advice: Double tap. Sing the happy birthday song once; then sing it again. This ensures you wash your hands for enough time (at least 20 to 30 seconds).
Watch this video to learn how to wash your hands properly. (Trust me, if you’re like most of us, you haven’t been doing it right.)
Take extra care to suds up in these circumstances:
When you’re done washing, don’t forget to moisturize.
Avoid these pitfalls:
Your enemy is not going to crawl, drooling, over the barbed fence of your apocalypse enclosure. It’s going to do something much worse.
Unlike zombies, viruses don’t announce themselves with a hissing snarl. They silently infiltrate every corner of your home, hiding in your most beloved hangouts, without you ever noticing. That’s why you must do a daily perimeter sweep. Arm yourself with disinfectant and get started:
You want to be in fighting shape to defeat zombies. The same is true for fighting viruses.
Now it’s time to master the real skills for this war.
We are obsessed with touching our faces, but that has to stop. Our eyes, noses, and mouths are doorways into our bodies — and viruses are just waiting to step over the threshold. (Scratching your nose is the equivalent of inviting a zombie for dinner and expecting them not to have you as the main course.)
Give your hands something else to do, like squeezing a stress ball. Set an alarm on your phone that reminds you every hour: DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.
If you can break the habit, it’s “the one behavior that would be better than any vaccine ever created,” says an expert quoted in this Washington Post article.
You may feel fine, but you could be a carrier of the virus (someone who shows no symptoms and gets other people sick). Make sure you aren’t spreading the disease:
Remember how in zombie movies you can never really tell who’s infected? Welcome to the new normal.
Any of us could spread COVID-19 without even knowing it. That’s why we have to practice “social distancing.” Social distancing means you should:
If social distancing sounds hard, that’s because it is. But sacrifices have to be made to defeat the enemy.
Seriously, we’ve been joking about the apocalypse (because if now isn’t the time for gallows humor, when is?). But this threat is real. If we don’t team up to stop it, COVID-19 could, according to one worst-case scenario, kill 2.2 million people in the United States. Sitting on your couch instead of going to a bar may seem like a small thing. But the choices you make today will decide who lives and dies tomorrow.
Play with this interactive infographic to understand why social distancing is important, then make a plan to keep yourself entertained while hanging out at home:
Do not be that person in the zombie movie who leaves the camp, gets their arm bitten, wears suspiciously long sleeves in the summer heat while saying “I’m fine, guys,” and then, bam, starts mouth-foaming and tries to eat everyone in the camp.
If you feel sick — even if you don’t think it’s COVID-19 — play it safe and stay home. Don’t take cold medicine and go socialize. (See above example.)
If you feel sick and your symptoms seem like they could be COVID-19, call your doctor and ask for advice. (Learn more by reading the CDC’s guide for what to do if you think you’re sick.)
Most zombie movies feature a dramatic scene where the hero fights off the undead in a theme park or finds a cure to the pandemic. Real life doesn’t always feel this exciting, especially when you’re sheltering in your living room eating lentils. But trust us, if you follow the steps in this guide, you will be saving lives.