Put on your favorite football jersey and bake yourself some shortbread: tonight is the season finale of “Ted Lasso.” (And it might also be the last episode ever, but we’re too busy shouting WE’RE RICHMOND TILL WE DIE to listen to this pessimistic rumor.) Since the show aired in 2020 — providing a welcome, feel-good escape from pandemic life — we’ve come to feel part of the Richmond team’s “found family.” We aren’t ready to say goodbye just yet. As we prepare for tonight’s episode (and beg for a fourth season), let’s look back at the show’s surprising wisdom. Yes, “Ted Lasso” is full of life lessons — not just for footballers, but also for college students.
In season one, Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) travels across the Atlantic to coach the British football team AFC Richmond – even though he’s only ever coached American football, a very different sport. (In America, we would call British football soccer.) Hard-core Richmond fans are furious. Sports reporter Trent Crimm (James Lance) calls Ted “irresponsible.” But we know that Ted wasn’t irresponsible for taking this leap. He was brave.
“We can measure how brave you are by how vulnerable you’re willing to be,” says Brené Brown in her Netflix special, “The Call to Courage.” A research professor specializing in vulnerability, shame, and courage, Brown defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” If you’re being vulnerable, you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone even though you know that at some point, you’ll probably fail. And Ted has quite literally been set up for failure by his boss Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddingham), who hired him to get back at her ex-husband, Richmond’s former owner. Like everyone else, she thinks this Kansas football coach is a joke.
The show could have easily been a football version of “The Office,” with Ted as a bumbling and arrogant coach in the vein of Michael Scott. Instead, Ted shows up with an open mind, a humble attitude, and an eagerness to learn. That’s what makes his journey a success.
Like Ted, you’ve embarked on an adventure filled with new experiences. You may have even chosen a college far from home. To make the most of your college years, channel your inner Ted and take chances:
“For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field,” Ted announces. He does this by building relationships — thinking of himself as a life coach first and a football coach second. Eventually, Ted admits that he does have to worry about winning some football games. (This practicality is hard for someone as whimsical as Ted, who enters most rooms with a rhyming salutation.) But he has the right idea: other people are more important than arbitrary measures of “success”.
You’ve got to be somewhat practical in college. If you tell your parents you failed the first semester because “success is not about the grades,” they won’t take it any better than Trent Crimm. But college really is about more than the score of your last exam. It’s a four year long opportunity to build relationships with peers, with faculty and — most importantly — with yourself. Yes, this does sound corny, but what did you expect? You’re reading an article on college life lessons from Ted Lasso. The guy says things like, “What do you say we do what the man says and make today our masterpiece.”
So how do you build relationships in college? You could follow Ted’s example and give out pink pastry boxes with homemade buttery shortbread cookies inside. But nobody has time for that in college. (Honestly, how does Ted even have time? Does the man sleep? Are his zany quips a sign of delirium?) Try this instead:
In season one, Ted earns a reputation as an amateur psychologist who cares about the emotional well-being of his players, colleagues, and friends. But in season two, we realize that Ted lacks the ability to take care of his own emotional health. “He’s not emotionally available to everyone because he’s done the hard work of healing old wounds; he is emotionally available to everyone because he doesn’t believe his own needs are as important,” explains this Vox article. He has repressed his grief over his father’s death for so many years, it’s become his default setting. All his emotions — his sadness over the loss of his marriage, his anxiety as a football coach, his homesickness and guilt over leaving his son — have been shoved deep down. And he is terrified of exploring them.
In his first session with Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles), the sports psychologist for AFC Richmond, Ted can’t decide where or how to sit. He poses — like “Don Draper, right?” — on the leather couch. Then he lies down, propping himself on his elbow “like a couple of kids on the top bunk” before settling into a classic therapy recline “like you see in New Yorker cartoons.” He folds his arms over his chest until he decides that it feels “a little too casket-y.” Finally, Dr. Sharon suggests he sit in the chair next to her and tells him not to worry, an acknowledgment of his own feelings that immediately terrifies him. He bolts out the door. It takes him two more tries to sit through a whole session. “Self-care can be scary,” Dr. Sharon says, but it’s the only thing that will set him free.
Even though, like Ted, you might feel nervous about trying therapy, it’s one of the best things you can do to support your mental, emotional, and social well-being. Here are some tips to get started:
This wouldn’t be a Ted Lasso article without a big, bold declaration to Believe. In fact, Ted would urge you to cut out dozens of yellow construction paper rectangles, write Believe on each of them, and stick them all over your dorm room. But what are you supposed to believe in? The show has offered many answers over the last three seasons. Believe in your teammates (or, in your case, perhaps your classmates). Believe in the innate goodness of other people. Believe in the indomitable spirit of AFC Richmond. Believe in belief! But most of all, believe in yourself. Ted says this from the very first episode. When asked if he believes in ghosts, he says, “I do. But more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.”
Believing in yourself means “having confidence in your own abilities… [and] being able to trust yourself to do what you say you do and knowing that those efforts will result the desired outcomes,” according to the Berkeley Well-Being Institute. Here are a few ways you can boost your belief in yourself:
Let’s end with a classic Ted-ism: “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” College life won’t always be easy, but it’s worth giving your all. And whatever you’re going through right now, you don’t have to do it alone. That’s a big message in “Ted Lasso” — we do better when we have a team that has our back. As a college student, you have a literal team of staff whose only job is to help you. Take advantage of this resource by reaching out to your campus’s student activities center, counseling center, student support services, peer mentors, trusted faculty members and RAs.
To find out more about USF’s counseling and wellness services on our Health and Wellness page. And if you’re a current student who needs help, call the USF Counseling Center’s 24-hour emergency line at 813-974-2831.